Forever and Almost Always
by Annie Cullen xx
Summary: *NAME CHANGE* Set in New Moon. After the heartbreak of Edward's departure, Jacob has finally sealed the cracks. But when Bella discovers Jacob has Leukemia, the cracks begin to show again.
1. Birthday Shock

**A/N: Another Fanficton for you, that's not a Parody. I decided to release it on this account rather than my other one. And after reading My Sister's Keeper made me want to write this more :) **

**Based on the song 'A Dustland Fairytale' by The Killers. **

**I did my research on Chemotherapy and Leukemia. So most of it is the correct stuff.**

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Chapter 1  
Bella P.O.V

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I sat at the kitchen tables, staring mindlessly at my cereal. Not really thinking much, just staring. It was suddenly interuppted by a hand on my shoulder. I snapped out of my trance and looked up, Charlie was pinching a piece of paper between his fingers. I looked at it closer and realized it was an invite to Jake's party, his 17th. Then I bolted up, grabbing my keys and heading for the door.

I was supposed to be helping Jake and Billy set up the party. Charlie was invited, obviously, he was coming a bit later, along with other people from La Push and a few of Jake's friends. I turned the key in the igniton and sped (As fast as the truck would allow, anyway) to La Push.

When I arrived, I saw a banner with Jake's name on, and a few balloons on the door. I headed for the door, but saw Jake come out of the house with a box. He saw me and a big grin grew on his face.

"Bella!" He smiled, I waved.

"Hi Jake," I replied. "You started without me?" I asked, he knew I was only kidding.

"Sorry. Why don't you help me with these balloons?" He offered, I smiled and nodded.

"Sure."

He set the box down. I picked out a handful and placed them in my pocket, and began blowing one up. I was all done out after six balloons, so I started using the pump instead.

"Shoot." Jake muttered. "I'll just go inside, we're out of celotape." He said, holding up the empty circle.

As he went inside, I sat on the top step. I heard Billy start speaking to Jake, I heard laughing and chuckling. Then Billy's voice became serious. I knelt up closer to the door,

"Dad, dont-"

"No, son, let me speak. Please enjoy this birthday, it may be your last." Billy said. Last birthday?

I heard Jake's footsteps approach the door, so I slid back to the step. He came out with fresh celotape, and taped up the balloons in silence. Something was wrong.

"Jake," I began.

"Yes?" He asked, starting to blow up a balloon.

"What did Billy mean by... this is your last birthday? Are you moving away or something?" I asked, feeling like a stupid fool.

The balloon in his mouth deflated, and he took it out. "No, I'm not moving away." He said. I shrugged and moved closer to him.

"Then what is it?"

"I, uh..." He took a deep breath, "I have Leukemia." He whispered.

Joking. He had to be joking. But you don't joke about stuff like Leukemia. I prayed it wasn't true, hoping I'd misheard him, "What?"

"Leukemia." He stated again with an expressionless face.

"So... that's cancer, right?" I asked, he nodded. "But-" I paused, and looked at my feet.

"Bella," He put his arm around me. "Don't worry, I'll live. The doctor said they caught it early so-"

"So what?" I asked, shrugging his arm away. "It'll add a _few_ extra years onto your life?"

"Yeah." He whispered. He stood up. _Damn _I thought.

"Jake, I'm sorry." I whispered to him.

"It's no big deal." He shrugged. No big deal? This wasn't like losing a football game, this was his life.

"Of couse it is. It's cancer, you can't make it out as nothing." I told him. I stood up this time.

"Sure I can. I mean, they have treatment and stuff, right?" He asked. I nodded. "There you go."

"Jake, just because there's treatment avaliable, it doesn't mean it'll work." I said, feeling guilty for even thinking it afterwards.

"I know that." He said. There was a short silence between us.

"What treatment are you having?" I asked, he scoffed. "What?"

"A minute a go you were saying it might not work."

"Jacob!"

"Chemo. That's what the doctor recommended." He explained. "Safer, too, apparantly."

"Chemo? So you'll lose your hair?" I asked, trying to ignore the lump in my throat, threatening to burst.

"Yes." He nodded, also.

It felt like this was a nightmare. This couldn't be true. Jacob couldn't have cancer, no, he can't. I'd already lost one person I loved, I don't think I could face losing another, especially when they're dying. At that moment, Jake was hugging me tightly. I was crying.

"Hun, it's OK." He whispered. I sobbed heavily into his shirt.

"No." I cried. "I can't lose you!"

"You won't. I promise." He said to me, wiping a few of my tears from my face.

The party was fairly small, a barbeque in Jacob's backyard. I made sure it didn't look like I'd been crying when Charlie arrived, Jake decided he didn't want him to know yet. At the party, I stuck with Jake. Sometimes people referred to us as Boyfriend and Girlfriend, even Charlie asked at one point, but we made it clear that we weren't together.

After a few hours, it was just Charlie and I left, so we helped clear up.

As I was scraping the leftovers into a plastic bag, I noticed Jake wasn't here. I went inside, put the garbage bag down and went into his room. He was there, sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands.

"Jake?" I asked. "Jacob?"

He lifted his head. Crying. He was crying.

"I'm scared." He whispered. "I'm so fucking terrified." He sobbed. I put my arm around him, and he sobbed onto my shoulder. I began shortly after.

"Don't worry, you'll get through this." I said tearfully. "We will together." I burst into tears.

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That night, I didn't want to sleep. Everytime I shut my eyes, I saw Jacob. I decided to try to sleep. I shut my eyes, and drifted off.

_A Hospital. I was in a hospital, ICU I think it was. It was fairly empty, silent. I scanned the room and saw no-one, a part from a few nurses, and... Carlisle? Why was he there, he didn't work there anymore. He... _they_ had left months ago._

_"Carlisle?" I asked. But he didn't here me._

_Suddenly, the double doors flew open. Someone was being wheeled in. They had an oxygen mask on and had nurses and doctors around them, even Carlisle ran over,_

_"Who do we have?" One asked._

_"Young male. Started vomiting and temporaraly stopped breathing. He has advanced Leukemia." Oh my God. Jacob._

_I ran over to the bed, and it was Jacob. But not my Jacob. This Jacob was pale, not the colour I was, this was an unhealthly pale. And his hair, there was none, he was bald from the chemo._

I bolted up. I was crying again. I waited until I calmed down and then looked at my clock. It was seven-thirty AM. I got up and went downstairs to make myself and Charlie some breakfast. Charlie was already downstairs, with a cup of coffee.

"Morning Dad." I said.

"Morning Bells." He replied, sipping his coffee. "You were sleep talking last night, you said _his _name a few times." I knew who he meant by _his_. I hated hearing his name, "But then you said Jacob's name, and then said 'Don't go' or something like that."

"Oh." I choked out.

"Are you going to see him, today?" He asked.

"Sure." I answered.

"You're quiet this morning, is something wrong?" He asked.

_You wouldn't believe me if I told you. _I wanted to say, but instead I said, "Just got things on my mind."

I went back upstairs and got dressed slowly. When I was ready, I ran a brush through my hair pretty roughly and ran downstairs, grabbed my keys and headed for my truck. I drove to Jake's, to find him working on his car. I parked up and walked to the garage.

"Hey, Bella, check it out." He lead me to the back of the car.

"What should I be looking at?" I asked in confusion.

"I finally got the door on, see." He said putting his hand on the door, then patting it. Of course I couldn't get the images of him from my nightmare out of my head.

"Oh." I said.

"What's the matter, Bells?" He asked.

"I was just thinking about this dream I had last night."

"What happened?" He asked again.

"I was in a hospital... and you... were rushed to the ICU." I whispered.

"Aw Bells, I told you not to worry."

"I know, but... I can't not worry. You could die, Jake." I sighed.

"You don't know that." He told me, letting me lean my head on his shoulder.

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**XX**


	2. Blood Test

**A/N: Heyy. Sorry for not updating, I've been writing the Parody (read). **

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**Chapter 2**

**Bella's P.O.V**

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I woke up pretty early the next day. I sat up and stared at the wall. What are you meant to do when you're only true friend is dying? I sighed and threw my covers off of me, and got out of bed. I dragged my feet downstairs, and saw Charlie at the table, reading the newspaper, sipping slowly at a cup of coffee. I opened the refrigerator, got the milk out and put it down on the counter before mindlessly getting the cereal out, not realizing Charlie was talking to me,

"Bella?" He asked. I snapped out of my daydream.

"Yes, dad?"

"I said are you going over to Jacob's again," He began, I rubbed my eyes and sat down at the table, "You forgot his birthday present yesterday." He told me, pushing a box towards me.

"Oh yeah, I'm going to Jake's again." I whispered.

"Is everything OK, you seem, I don't know... distracted." He said, looking at me with suspicion in his eyes.

"I'm fine, just..." I paused, and shook my head "Nothing you need to worry about, I'm going to Jake's." I said, grabbing my keys and the present, before heading for the door.

I got into my truck, turned the radio on and set off to La Push.

Jacob had Leukemia. It didn't seem right. I think I was having one of those 'It never would happen to me' moments. I stopped at the red light, and turned the radio up, the distract me from my thoughts, but the song playing didn't really help, it was a slow song, a song that reminded me of... _him_. I turned it down to zero and realized the light was green. I sped forward and turned down the road to La Push.

Now I had one thing on my mind. What should I say to him? Would he bring it up first, or would I have to, or will we not even talk about it? I then realized someone was tapping on my window. Jacob.

"Earth to Bella." He joked. I shook my head and got out of the truck.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Look, I don't mean to ruin our day, but, I have a doctor's appointment today." He told me, I nodded slowly. "Do you want to come?"

"Sure," I said.

I sat back into my truck, and waited for Jake to get in and put his seat belt on. When he had, we set off to the hospital. It was a silent journey, not awkward, just silent. I didn't know what to say to him, so I just said anything that popped into my head, random or not.

"This sun we're having, it doesn't know wh-"

"I know you're avoiding it." He said, staring out of the window. He was right, I was.

"No, I'm not." I lied, watching the road ahead. "You are."

"OK, let's talk about it," He said, I gave him a quick glance before looking at the road again. "The doctor's appointment today is to decide if I _need _chemo or not." He explained.

"'Kay." I mumbled, what else could I say? I saw him roll his eyes, "I'm sorry, it... it still hasn't sunk in, yet." I told him.

"Same." He answered. I cracked a smile and looked at him, just as he did.

We arrived at the hospital. I parked up and we entered the reception. This was one place I tried avoiding, it reminded me of Carlisle. We walked up to the front desk, and Jake handed the woman a piece of paper.

"Dr. Grace will be with you shortly, Mr. Black." She told him, Jake nodded.

Jake and I went to the waiting area. But we didn't have a long wait though. "Jacob Black." The doctor called. We followed her into an office, where she sat at her desk, and wrote something down. We sat down after her,

"So, I understand you're here for a blood test, Mr Black?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, that's right. And Mr Black is my dad, call me Jacob." He said. The nurse smiled and nodded.

"OK. Jacob, would you mind sitting on the bed over there, please." She ordered. "An then roll up the sleeve of your right arm."

Jake did as she said, and went to the bed. I followed and perched on the edge on the bed next to Jake, who was rolling his sleeve up. The doctor came over and revealed a needle, I gasped slightly, which caught Jake's attention.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"I'm not a big fan of needles," I began, "Or blood."

"Look away, it won't last long." He told me. The doctor put the needle in his arm, I reached for Jake's free hand and squeezed it tightly. After a few seconds, I looked back, it was done.

Jake hoped off the bed, and we sat back at the desk.

"We'll get the results back in a few days, this will determine how advance the leukemia is." She explained.

"Okay, thank you." Jake smiled.

On the way home, I saw Jake looking at me. I realized I was biting my lip.

"What?"

"Don't worry, those results will be fine." He told me. "Trust me."

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**OK... That chapters done. I already know the ending few chapters to this. Sorry for the shortness.**

**Next Chapter: Jacob gets the results :O**

**Review? **


	3. Results

_A/N: Heyy. Sorry for not updating, I've been writing the Parody(s) (read). _

_I'll upload the playlist soon, the songs may give away the planned storyline you see._

_I spent __forever__ looking up Chemotherapy, and I had no idea there was so many drugs for it! Please correct me if I'm wrong with anything, okay? Right, on with the story, Jacob s getting the blood test results back. Will it be good news?_

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**Chapter 3**

**Bella P.O.V**

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Today was the day Jake was supposed to be getting the blood test results back. He wanted me to come with him to get them. I think I was more scared than he was.

I drove to his house to pick him up, and he looked calm, really calm. The type of calm you are when you're on holiday, no worries or anything.

We were quiet throughout the journey, but when we arrived, he stopped me getting out.

"Jake, wh--"

"Bella, I want you to promise me something." He asked, I nodded. "If the results aren't... well, good news, promise me you won't cry."

"Why? I mean, why should I not cry, it was only a blood test."

"I want to stay positive." He told me, I just nodded again.

We got out and headed for the reception, where we sat down immediately. I realized my knee was shaking violently, I put arm on it to stop it. I was terrified for him.

"Jacob Black?" The nurse called. Jake and I stood up in unison, and followed her to her office.

She seemed calm too, but it was only when she shut the door behind her I knew it wasn't good. When we sat down, I automatically reached for Jake's hand, he smiled at me.

"Well?" Jake asked, the nurse sighed.

"Your tests came back, as you know." Jake nodded. "You have a type of leukemia known as Acute promyelocytic leukemia." She began, this didn't sound good. "You _do_ need Chemotherapy." She told him. Jake just nodded.

"What's Acute promyelocytic leukemia?" I found myself asking.

"It's a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. It's a rare form of cancer."

"Is Chemo. the only treatment?" Jake asked.

"There's the option of a bone marrow transplant, but like every other transplant, you need a matching donor."

"Can you see if I'm a match?" I asked, she nodded.

"Of course, but it would be very dangerous to have a unrelated donor." She explained, I sighed, fighting back the tears in order to keep my promise to Jake.

"Will he--" I looked at him, just as he did me. "Is he going to die?"

"Not if we start Chemotherapy immediately." The nurse said, standing up.

"What will you give me?" Jake asked.

"There is a number of different Chemotherapy drugs available, but I'm going to prescribe you Tioguanine, which is in the form of a tablet." She began, "Now, with the type of leukemia you have, I would recommend you have treatment over a period of a few months."

"When shall I begin taking them?"

"I'll prescribe them today, and you can start today." She told me, "You should take them whole on an empty stomach along with plenty of water." She explained.

"Okay." Jake whispered.

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I went in Jake's house with him, he took the first of the tablets, whilst I looked up the side-effects of the type of chemotherapy he was having. It wasn't a long search, but there were lots.

"So, anything scary?" Jake asked, before gulping down a glass of water.

"Well, there's tiredness or weakness, and it says don't fight it, just rest when you need to." I scrolled down a bit more.

"What else?" He asked.

"Taste changes... Mouth Ulcers and... oh." I stopped, Jake turned around.

"What do you mean by 'oh'?" He asked, he was sat by me immediately. "Is it bad?"

"Vomiting and nausea." I whispered.

We both went silent, I guess we both thought the side-effects would be bad. We were wrong. Jake suddenly groaned, I looked at him and he had gone pale. I slammed my laptop shut, as he ran for the toilet.

"Jake?" I asked, running after him. I opened the door, he was throwing up, violently. I knelt next to him, rubbing his back as he did. When he'd done, I handed him some tissue, and a glass of water.

"Vomiting and Nausea." I repeated, he chuckled weakly.

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_Aw. You may recognize that the leukemia Jacob has is the same as what Kate has in My Sister's Keeper. I'm not copying it, it's the only leukemia I knew of. _

_So, did you enjoy? That little green and white button means you did. Press it to show your love._

_Love Annie x_


	4. Forever and Almost Always

A/N: I decided I wanted to begin writing this again, except name change also. Forever and Almost Always :) And writing this chapter actually made me cry D':

A song that inspired this chapter: Forever and Almost Always - Kate Voegele

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Chapter Four - (Time Skip = One Month)

Jacob was a month into the chemo., and it was obvious. He was alot weaker than he used to be for starters, I was there for him everytime he vomited, took the tablets and such. Sometimes I caught him crying, saying he couldn't go through with it, and I had to tell him he could, and that he was a fighter. Those were the emotional side effects. I hated the idea of him being alone through this.

x0x0x0x

_In an ordinary fairytale land,  
__there's a promise of a perfect happy end _  
_And I imagine heaven just sort of that _  
_Its better than nothing _

I smiled at those lyrics, they were true in some sense. I took the Kate Voegele CD out, just as Charlie burst into my room with a panic-stricken face. I was suddenly worried.

"Dad?"

"Jake's gone to hospital." He panted.

"Why?" I shot up, like my heart rate did.

"Billy said he'd had a fever all night, and was throwing up a lot-"

"Dad, that's what chemotherapy does."

"No, but then he collapsed."

I gasped. He can't... no, he _wouldn't _die! He promised me he was going to be okay. I ran downstairs, grabbing my keys and headed out to my truck, with Charlie following. I sped down the road, ignoring Charlie's yells.

"Bella! Slow down, you'll get us killed!" He shouted, "BELLA!"

"What?" I snapped.

He looked at me, shocked. "Slow down." He said a bit calmer. "And stay calm."

I took a deep breath, and eased my foot on the accelerator. But we were at the hospital in no time. I rushed in, asking various nurses and doctors where he was. I was guided to ICU.

I saw Billy in the waiting area, "Billy!" He turned, "Where is he? Is he-"

"Bella, calm-"

We both heard the doors open, our glances faced the nurse who was there. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"The reason Jacob collapsed was because of the weakness and exhaustion from the chemotherapy." She explained.

"And the fever?" I asked.

"You generally get that from Leukemia." She said.

"Can I see him, I mean is he awake or not?" I asked.

"Sure, he's been asking about you actually." She smiled.

I smiled too, he'd asked about me. I followed her into his room, where he was hooked up to all kinds of machinery. Heart monitors and all. He turned his head and instantly smiled,

"Bella." He smiled.

"Hi Jake, how you feeling?" I asked, pulling up a chair.

"Good I guess, I've felt worse."

"Oh." I choked out, "I'm going to have to get used to stuff like this, huh?"

He nodded, "Yeah. With Leukemia you don't get off lightly." He chuckled.

I did too, "No, I guess not." I chuckled. "Just... don't scare me like that, I thought you'd..." I shook my head.

He scoffed, "I can't break our promise." He smiled. "What kind of friend would I be?"

"Well if you do go anywhere, consider us not best friends anymore." I said tearfully.

He chuckled, "I don't give up that easy." I chuckled. He was a fighter.

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Sorry for the shortness, will make the chapters longer, promise:) x


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